Road Rage

[Violet]

Do you get it? What is the single-worst thing another driver can do to really piss you off?

Post up your road rage experiences.



I always thought I was bad about getting it. Nothing pisses me off more than to have some ass pull out in front of me (especially when there's no one behind me) only to drive like my grandma.

Yet, over the past few years, I now know I only get the road-grumpies. My mom may have the worst road rage I've ever seen. The woman has a way with her middle finger and horn that has had people threaten to kick our asses on more than one occasion.

Probably my favorite story about her road rage, though, was the time she went to pick my dad up from his back surgery. He could barely walk, yet he nearly had to defend her from some very angry dude who hopped out of his car at a stoplight. He hesitated a moment too long at the green light, so she prompted him with shouts of, "Hey motherfucker!" and her horn.

When he leaned out the window to find out who was giving him a hard time, she blared her horn and flipped him off, all the while shouting more obscenities at him. This prompted him to get out of his car and walk toward her. Dad says he glared at her and reached for his cane, hoping the guy would be able to listen to his voice of reason. Lucky for him, she managed to back up and drive around him, leaving the dude standing in the middle of the road.


Now, gimme stories.

[Absinthe]

Hahahaha... idiot drivers...
Somebody needs to invent a zapper that I can install in my car and every time another driver pisses me off.... ZAPP... puff and he is gone...

What ticks me off the most are idiots that are in the faaaaar right lane and suddenly decide to cut in front of me, in front of the people left of me just to get into the far left lane to make a turn. And all of this without setting a signal. Oh yes, this scenario works the other way too. From right to left.

Yep, I encountered one of them today.

Oh god, I want a zapper... Zapp... Zapp... Zapp...

[Josie]

I guess I'll go with "road grumpies", if that. I really don't get very angry when I'm driving.

1) I don't know someone else's situation.. though I'm betting they're just being a jerk, but oh well.

2) I see no point in getting worked up over something when it (my emotional response) could possibly put me or my family in harm's way.

3) Half the time I'm more amused than anything else. I've been known to scare my passengers with sudden, seemingly random guffaws.



I'm usually just irritated with people for being so unsafe when they're driving around a big box of dead weight that has the potential to and does kill all the time.

[Polar Bear]

I'm riding with my dad in his pick up truck, heading towards the bridge that would take me back home. (He had visitation)

This chick was using the rear view mirror to put on make up and pulled right in front of us, nearly making my dad swerve off the road. And to add insult to injury, she kept putting her blinker on like she was going to get out of our way...then at the last second, swerving back in front of us.

At a red light, she waited for my father to beep at her before she started moving. And finally, at the next red light, she slammed on her brakes with like 30 feet between her and the car in front of her, and almost made us rear-end her. Then (get this...) she starts talking on a fucking cell phone.

So my dad puts the truck in park and gets out and goes up to her car. I see him reach half his body in her car and then come out. He shouts something at her that I couldn't hear at the time, and turns to chuck whatever was in his hand up over the interstate barrier fence.

He gets back in the truck and we swing around her leaving her there puzzled as to what just happened. He confides in me later that he reached in and shut her car off, yanked the keys out of her ignition, yelled "If you can't handle it, turn it the fuck off!" and then tossed her keys.

[Shade]

Ehh i never get pissed off when driving. My dad use to all the time, i hated it. Though a while back i'm sure i caused some people to road rage.

[Josie]

I warn you ahead of time: I'm terrible with storytelling. But here goes...

My dad used to drop me off near my highschool every morning when I was a freshman. It was about two blocks away from the school and mostly on his way to work, so he agreed to take me.

My father also really likes to listen to AM radio REALLLY loudly. So, one morning, he pulled up to our usual stop sign in his wrx and let me out. He went through the stop, and I started through the crosswalk as always... when this psychotic, minivan driving, big haired, blue eye shadowed, cell-phone talking, child whacking cunt tried to run me over.

No kidding. I stepped into the crosswalk, and she got this evil look in her eye and gunned it straight at me. My paranoid father, of course, always watched me cross in the rear view and skidded to a stop immediately. She swerved to go around, mistakenly thinking her minivan could outdo an angry man in a wrx. They played this swerving and blocking game for about three blocks until my dad finally reversed up to her bumper so she couldn't go anywhere... He got out (now the AM is being broadcast throughout the entire neighborhood, and is even echoing off some houses), stormed over to her car (she starts rolling up her window), started yelling a string of obscenities and insults about her weight, make-up, vehicle, etc. (keep in mind this man is gay. He can go ON AND ON about a woman and "what she just shouldn't/do/wear/etc.")

By the end of it (window still rolled up), she slowly reversed, slowly drove around him, and creeped away like a puppy with its tail tucked between its legs.

Now, my dad and I don't "talk" persay... we text and IM each other. He texted me all throughout my school day to inform me how awesome his insults were and to describe the *exact* expressions of shock, guilt, and horror he got out of her.

He bought himself a bottle of wine on the way home that night to celebrate.

OH WAIT!! I have another one! (you can stop reading anytime you like, btw)

This also happened with the wrx...

My dad was driving a friend of mine home late one night (we were in middleschool) and he decided to cut through one of the back streets to avoid some construction. Total in the car was me, my dad, my friend, and my dad's boyfriend (in the front) - we were in the back.

As we're driving down this street, which divides the normal people from ghetto-ville, we get stuck behind this dingy red car full of young hispanic men.... all wearing red. Red bandanas, shaven heads, red shirts, etc. They're creeeeeeeping along... so my dad's boyfriend decides to let them know we're waiting, reaches over and lays on the horn.

I thought my dad was about to die. The Mexicans abruptly stop and start digging around the car, while yelling something in spanish.

Ah... god damn it. Kid's awake. Gotta go.

[Blood]

Mexicans abruptly stop and start digging around the car, while yelling something in spanish.

Ah... god damn it. Kid's awake. Gotta go.

Don't you dare leave, i wanna know what happens!!! haha

[Josie]

Don't you dare leave, i wanna know what happens!!! haha

Okay, quickly, long story short is we ended up in a car chase for about half an hour through a rich little neighborhood. There were quite a few "stream crossings" for the golf carts where you really have to slow down so the car doesn't bottom out.

Being that the mexicans aren't from around that area, they didn't know this and smushed their car into the pavement at around 60-75. They got out, wielding objects I couldn't make out as we drove off... but they were pretty pissed, and their car had to be towed.

*runs back into living room to make sure the kid isn't destroying anything*

See? I told you I'm awful with stories, but there ya go. :(

[Blood]

Okay, quickly, long story short is we ended up in a car chase for about half an hour through a rich little neighborhood. There were quite a few "stream crossings" for the golf carts where you really have to slow down so the car doesn't bottom out.

Being that the mexicans aren't from around that area, they didn't know this and smushed their car into the pavement at around 60-75. They got out, wielding objects I couldn't make out as we drove off... but they were pretty pissed, and their car had to be towed.

*runs back into living room to make sure the kid isn't destroying anything*

See? I told you I'm awful with stories, but there ya go. :(

Nope, thats the best story ever!
I mean it has mexicans and a car chase and smushed cars and mexican swear words.

What more could you want out of a story?!

[Bunnee]

(keep in mind this man is gay. ............ my dad, and my dad's boyfriend ..........

so my dad's boyfriend .......

Wait... your dad is gay?

[Josie]

Wait... your dad is gay?

Yep.

[Polar Bear]

Wait... your dad is gay?

Nothing gets by you, does it?

[Shade]

Nope, thats the best story ever!
I mean it has mexicans and a car chase and smushed cars and mexican swear words.

What more could you want out of a story?!

a gay guy kicking the crap out of like 5 gang bangers...cause that would be the end all to everything.....

[Violet]

Hahahaha... idiot drivers...
Somebody needs to invent a zapper that I can install in my car and every time another driver pisses me off.... ZAPP... puff and he is gone...

Oh god, I want a zapper... Zapp... Zapp... Zapp...

Hehe.. I don't think I'd stop with drivers.

I'd hit that guy who decides to mow his lawn at 7am on Saturday mornings, all telemarketers, that lady who went through the express lane at the grocery store but takes 5 minutes to write out a check...


Yeah. I want a zapper, too.

[Jenn]

Hehe.. I don't think I'd stop with drivers.

I'd hit that guy who decides to mow his lawn at 7am on Saturday mornings, all telemarketers, that lady who went through the express lane at the grocery store but takes 5 minutes to write out a check...


Yeah. I want a zapper, too.

LOL, I want one too! I'd like to hit this one black lady who parks at the bus stop where my son is picked up, and then when we ask her to move it, she calls us racists and say "Somethings gotta be done about you people." And then starts screaming at random parents.

[Violet]

LOL, I want one too! I'd like to hit this one black lady who parks at the bus stop where my son is picked up, and then when we ask her to move it, she calls us racists and say "Somethings gotta be done about you people." And then starts screaming at random parents.

Crazy people are funny.


Speaking of road rage and black ladies, my mom got flaming pissed at one when she tried to properly pass some guy, and this black chick shot around her car, regardless of my mom's turning signal.

Mom chased her for a block or two, screaming naughty words and honking, when the black chick decided she wanted a piece of us. She called us "cracka bitches" (Oh, my!) and told us to pull over so she could kick our asses.

I was game, but mom said since I was pregnant (yeah, this was seven years ago) it was probably a bad idea. She was right, I'm sure... but I was hormonal.

[Jenn]

Crazy people are funny.


Speaking of road rage and black ladies, my mom got flaming pissed at one when she tried to properly pass some guy, and this black chick shot around her car, regardless of my mom's turning signal.

Mom chased her for a block or two, screaming naughty words and honking, when the black chick decided she wanted a piece of us. She called us "cracka bitches" (Oh, my!) and told us to pull over so she could kick our asses.

I was game, but mom said since I was pregnant (yeah, this was seven years ago) it was probably a bad idea. She was right, I'm sure... but I was hormonal.

Haha, I can't believe your mom followed her! When I was little, all I remember was my mother stopping at a red light and two black chicks knocked on the window telling her that she cut them off. They were expecting an apology, but she just said, "Oh.. ok..." closed her window, the light turned green, and she drove off.

People are dumb... to actually get out of your car for something like that.. haha.

[KommieKat]

Since I no longer have use for a car, the only road rage I experience is at the local supermarket.

I just can't tolerate those middle aged women who cut me off with their carts at the bakery department. Pisses me off!

[Absinthe]

LOL, I want one too! I'd like to hit this one black lady who parks at the bus stop where my son is picked up, and then when we ask her to move it, she calls us racists and say "Somethings gotta be done about you people." And then starts screaming at random parents.

Aahhh.... I see the potential... It would be more like a multi-tool-kinda-thingie.

[Jenn]

Since I no longer have use for a car, the only road rage I experience is at the local supermarket.

I just can't tolerate those middle aged women who cut me off with their carts at the bakery department. Pisses me off!

LOL you know, I go food shopping every two weeks..and I tend to stay out of the grocery store around the 1st and the 5th because people receiving assistance tend to jam up the places. But if I have to go for something, UGH, people don't watch where their children are going, they ram you in the back with carts..so yeah, id like a zapper for them too.

And If I go in the morning with my son, its senior citizen galore! They get super mad if my son is talking while waiting on line or waiting to get deli meats. No ones allowed to be there at that time but them.

[Stickman]

I saw a guy get out of his car at a set of lights pull another driver from his car and start laying into him. In the middle of a busy intersection. Not sure he thought it through much. Cause there were enough witnesses for him to spend some time as Bubba's bitch.

[Jenn]

I saw a guy get out of his car at a set of lights pull another driver from his car and start laying into him. In the middle of a busy intersection. Not sure he thought it through much. Cause there were enough witnesses for him to spend some time as Bubba's bitch.

Damn. My mothers best friend who is a sheriff was driving (off duty) on the NJ turnpike, and there were lines for the tolls, and one guy did something where he almost hit my moms friend and then gave him the finger... my mothers friend got out of his truck, went to the car and punched the guy in the face. He got in trouble for it, though. I never understood why people take it that far.. so someone gave you the finger.. laugh it off. It's only a fucking finger.. so what if someones saying fuck you.

I get mad when I see children in a car, younger children, standing up in the backseat.. I believe all children should be secured in their seat, and sometimes I'll yell at the driver, or get the plate number and call it in.

[Titty]

I don't get too upset over much. That's not to say I'm above calling people cocksuckers and giving them the finger for their blatant ignorance of motoring laws and proper driving practices. Once in a while, I'll tailgate a slow driver in the fast lane really closely. They usually take the hint. Something else I'm partial to is laying on the horn when people sit at green lights, fail to turn right on red, etc. Not just a short toot, either. I'm talking a full 10-15 seconds after they've already initiated corrective action. I like to be thorough.


I was driving my mid-sized suv one dark fall night on a rural road. I was already traveling at least 10 over the speed limit when the rusty pickup occupied by a couple of hillbillies pulled up behind me. It was a long, straight stretch with plenty of opportunities to pass. They didn't want to get ahead of me. They just wanted to annoy and/or scare someone by tailgating with their high beams on. Reducing my speed did nothing; nor did polite gestures. I tapped the brakes with my left foot while simultaneously gassing it to make them think they were going to hit me. They backed off for a few seconds, then resumed their game. I took my 1.5M candlepower spotlight from the back seat, plugged it in and pointed it behind me. Using the rear view mirror, I aimed the beam right in the driver's face. This thing will brilliantly illuminate a 20' area at well over 300 yards. At close range, it's blinding. Literally. He nearly lost control, then disengaged and turned off.

[InterStella]

I get pissed off all the fucking time by imbecile drivers.

Especially when I'm the passenger, and Teh Fella is the driver.

That man just can't multitask. And, by 'multitask', I mean 'think' and 'drive' simultaneously.

Ffs.

[Absinthe]

I was on the interstate today. I had a driver in front of me who couldn't make up his mind. Instead of picking on lane, he decided to stay in both. At 65 mph. During lunch hour.

ZAPP....