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Thread: Thoughts To Ponder
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03-29-2008, 02:36 PM #1
Thoughts To Ponder
1. What's the difference between a novel and a book?
2. If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
3. If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here?
4. Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
5. In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?
6. Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
7. Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?
8. If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
9. Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?
10. If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?
11. Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?
12. Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?
13. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
14. How is chess considered a sport?
15. If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to?
16. If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs?
17. If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?
18. How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt?
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03-29-2008, 03:03 PM #2I'm a Bitch because I can !!
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Re: Thoughts To Ponder
19. Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
20. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
21. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
22. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
23. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
24. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
25. How come there aren't B batteries?
26. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
27. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
28. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
29. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
30. Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
31. Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
32. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
33. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
34. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?I am not shy. I am just quietly examining my prey.
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03-29-2008, 06:54 PM #3
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
Answer: The patient.8. If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
Reason: There is no reason to try to help a dead person, now is it?
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03-29-2008, 07:04 PM #4
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03-29-2008, 07:09 PM #5
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
35. Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils?
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03-29-2008, 08:09 PM #6I'm a Bitch because I can !!
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03-29-2008, 09:04 PM #7
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
There is none. But it's generally believed that a novel has more pages and is writen far more elequently. Popular colture has completely distroyed the meaining
Yes. They still show the movie. Because someone might come in late, and there is no downside to showing it.
Because evolutionary paths are based on envirements. The monkeys that didnt most of been in an envirement where they didnt need to evolve. IE: Pricks house
cause she is a girl
It's put in the refrence section, along with books of angels and the like
Because spongebob needed to be unique. The purpose of the show was to make him a completely unique character
no clue
the patient....part of the medicle oath
Because we like to scare the shit out of our children!!!!
no
no
no
The rest of the questions all suckedDon't sweat the small stuff, and ya know what? It's all small stuff.
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03-29-2008, 10:30 PM #8
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
37. What happened to Preparations A-G?
You know you want one.
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03-30-2008, 12:26 AM #9
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
38. How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
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03-30-2008, 02:57 AM #10
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
39. Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
40. Why they call the airport "a terminal" if flying is supposedly so safe?
41. Why the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, but can't he fix a hole in a boat?
42. Why it is when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
43. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
44. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
45. If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
46. If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
47. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
You know you want one.
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03-30-2008, 03:01 AM #11
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
In ^that^ case, the doctor would have to be pronounced dead after all options for resuscitation(sp) were exhausted, so saying that the doctor died and needs to be worked on is ridiculous.
It would make sense if it read:
"If a doctor suddenly started dying while performing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?"
In which case, he would probably be taken to another OR and worked on by different doctors or flown to another hospital with available doctors.
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03-30-2008, 03:55 AM #12
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03-30-2008, 03:59 AM #13
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
48. If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
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03-30-2008, 07:10 AM #14
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
yes. The exception to the exception to the rule are retards. They are always the exception to the exception of the rule. Think about it. No one can get into this school! well the exception is that one guy who busts his ass right? Well retards can try as hard as they want, but they wont ever get into that film school. Thus Retards will never be able to actually do something amazing. Isn't that right Incognito? I mean when was the last time you heard of a retard doing something extrondary. Not to them mind you, but to anyone? It's always like joe-joe flipped a burger! YAY!!! dude a trained monkey can flip a burger. The fact is you never hear a retard become preside...ahhh shit....there goes that arguement. Nope, No exception to the excption of the rule. Bush proves that.Don't sweat the small stuff, and ya know what? It's all small stuff.
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03-31-2008, 07:10 AM #15
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
49. Why is the Caps Lock key not in All Caps?
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03-31-2008, 01:34 PM #16
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
50. What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
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03-31-2008, 02:08 PM #17
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
If the god was so high and mighty and loving why didnt he just kick the shit out of the devil and make everyone go to heaven?
Don't sweat the small stuff, and ya know what? It's all small stuff.
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03-31-2008, 03:53 PM #18
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03-31-2008, 03:55 PM #19
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03-31-2008, 04:36 PM #20
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03-31-2008, 06:48 PM #21Member
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Re: Thoughts To Ponder
You asked, I'll answer.
Simple... think of it, "drive" and "way", so it's a way to somewhere to drive. Same thing with parkway -- parkways are a way to someplace to park.
A train station is where trains are able to do a lot more than stop. Trains do the most switching around (cars, tracks, etc.) at train stations. Work stops at workstations, but it also starts, and there's a lot of switching around with work at workstations as well. It's called multitasking.20. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
A fax is worth a thousand phone calls. Take, for instance, a Power of Attorney. You can call someone until you're blue in the face trying to take care of someone else's business, but if you fax that PoA over, it will get done!21. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
Of course. Mimes are able to hear and speak, they just perform silent acts for entertainment. They're perfectly capable of talking, and do talk, when not performing. This question would've been better if the word "mute" was used instead of "mime".22. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Because when your account overdraws, or even sticks at zero and they reject transactions, that's extra work for the bank, so they charge for it. Overdrawing costs more because the bank's actually lending you their money which could be better spent (for them) elsewhere, so they're definitely going to charge you for that.23. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
You don't have to. It's a secret money making scheme.24. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Actually, there are. They're just not commonly used in everyday consumer products.25. How come there aren't B batteries?
They are put there either by people that walk on the grass to put them there. Why is this such a hard thing to fathom? The signs are there so the grass doesn't get trampled by a ton of people. One person walking on grass will hardly affect it, while hundreds of repeated feet hitting and sliding on the grass day after day will ruin the grass.26. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
Love and lingerie are unrelated. Stupid question.27. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Pencils are rated according to darkness/graphite density. Number one pencils are darker than number two's, number two pencils are most popular because they last longer and are sufficient for most tasks.28. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
You sure can. Dry ice is actually solidified carbon dioxide. You won't get clean from that bath, though.29. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
No, unless your job includes illegal activities.30. Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
Do you realize how dusty the air would be if all of the dirt wasn't in and on the ground?31. Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
You could refer to any number of other dictionaries. There are many different dictionaries published annually.32. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
There's no reason to believe mosquitoes were on the Ark. Mosquitoes thrive in and around water.33. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
They were formulas that didn't make the final taste test.34. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
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03-31-2008, 08:08 PM #22Mao's Pet Cat
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Re: Thoughts To Ponder
Someones being a smart ass again.

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03-31-2008, 08:33 PM #23
Re: Thoughts To Ponder
how can a door be a jar?
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03-31-2008, 08:34 PM #24Member
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03-31-2008, 08:36 PM #25
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