Ive learned

[Titty]

In my 3 plus decades on this festering shithole known as Earth, I've reached many a conclusion on a plethora of subjects. A few random deductions:

- Women, old people, and ALL Orientals can't drive for shit.

- Never say yes when a woman asks, "does my ass look fat in these pants?"

- Buying a brand new car is a big mistake no matter how nice it is.

- Always check for tp before commencing evacuation of a deuce.

- Never browse Ebay while under the influence of alcohol.

- Hasty decisions are most often regretful. Also see above.

- Don't call a woman on her a period a bitch, twat, crack, or--most importantly-- cunt.

- Always be honest. Even if it gets you in trouble at first. It's eventually appreciated.

- Never take the ones you love for granted. They won't be around forever.

- REMEMBER BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES!



What have you learned?

[Amythist]

only a man would say that...sadly some of those are true..hahaha

[Jenn]

I've learned that a man can be totally lost, and still won't ask for directions.

Eldely drivers are the meanest fucks on the road, they love that middle finger.

Some people just dont change no matter how much you expect them too.

[OutKast]

I've learned that sometimes your friends are more of a family to you then your own blood is.

I've learned that just because someone is family doesn't mean you have to love them.

I've learned that if you don't learn from your mistakes you'll never grow.

I've learned that life is too short to be pissed all of the time.

I've learned that life goes on................

[KommieKat]

- Always check for tp before commencing evacuation of a deuce.

I've most learned this one.

I always carry tissue or wet naps with me in a bag or something.

The last time this happened to me and I was caught unguard........I used my underwear to wipe my ass. I left the washroom a swinger.

[Assinhat]

I've learned If someone is nice to you but an asshole to the waiter, they are an asshole.

I've learned not to trust anyone if I'm bargaining from position of weakness.

Never trust a woman with no clothes on.

Don't listen your penis, it's stupid.

Never lick a fire hydrant.

I've learned to stop and smell the roses, and appreciate the thorns.

If trouble is coming than it's coming, don't sidestep, just drop your head and soldier on.

I've learned no one loves you unconditionally, except maybe your mom.

I've learned no one loves me unconditionally, except maybe your mom.

I've learned that 90% of the shit you come across in life is painfull, chaotic, silly, or useless. Take what helps and junk the rest.

[Violet]

Umm.. off the top of my head:

Never call a crazy woman crazy.

Never call a drunk crazy woman drunk or crazy.

People tend to project. A LOT. Liars never believe anyone. Thieves never trust anyone. Cheaters are always suspicious.


...I'll try to come up with more when I'm less inebriated. :)

[CrAnIuM]

Umm.. off the top of my head:

Never call a crazy woman crazy.

Never call a drunk crazy woman drunk or crazy.

People tend to project. A LOT. Liars never believe anyone. Thieves never trust anyone. Cheaters are always suspicious.


...I'll try to come up with more when I'm less inebriated. :)

^^^^^
Hmmm, suspicious ..I think you stole that post from me .. don't try to deny it cause I don't believe you.

[Violet]

^^^^^
Hmmm, suspicious ..I think you stole that post from me .. don't try to deny it cause I don't believe you.

[Chriss]

I've learned that I can't change where I came from.

I've learned that the only person I can really rely on is myself.

I've learned that blood doesn't make you a father. Love does.

I've learned that even though I feel like I'm nothing sometimes, I am the whole world to a beautiful little girl.

I've learned that a sense of humor is one of the best things to have.

And I agree with Jenn (sorry I didn't quote it). Old people can't drive! We are overrun with them in Florida...well, I gues its to be expected. I've heard people say that Florida is where people go to die lol

[Jenn]

I've learned that I can't change where I came from.

I've learned that the only person I can really rely on is myself.

I've learned that blood doesn't make you a father. Love does.

I've learned that even though I feel like I'm nothing sometimes, I am the whole world to a beautiful little girl.

I've learned that a sense of humor is one of the best things to have.

And I agree with Jenn (sorry I didn't quote it). Old people can't drive! We are overrun with them in Florida...well, I gues its to be expected. I've heard people say that Florida is where people go to die lol

I always say that people go to Florida to die, and my father-in-law gets so pissed when I say it. He just goes, "No, Florida is where we go because we can't afford to live anywhere else on our retirement" He gets sooo mad, so of course, I say it alot.

[InterStella]

I've learned that my no-nonsense approach to almost everything in life is not always appropriate. I have upset friends because of this.

I've learned that true friends are few and far between... but fair-weather friends are everywhere, and pretty useless.

I've learned that I'm horrible to live with. <<< I'm still working on that one.

I've learned that without the assurance of roadside assistance, I would be too scared to drive to Tesco.

I've (quite recently) learned that, when driving a different car that I need to fuel up, I DON'T need to get out at the petrol station to see which side the petrol cap is on. Durr. It's right there, displayed on the dashboard.

[Scabman]

I've learned that drinking Captain Morgan rum, heavily, will fuck up your stomach and make your poop hard and black.

I've learned that the feeling I get when I stand up too fast, loss of sight and feeling that I'm going to faint, is not usual for everyone. It's just common for smokers.

I've also learned that quitting smoking was surprisingly easy.

[Saucy]

I've learned that beer, crown royal, and whisky turn you into Frankenstein.

Never eat the vag out unless it passes the finger test.

I've learned that the skanks at titty bars DO accept coins.

[Celtic Crusher]

Life is precious. Don't waste your time.

[*Lins*]

I've learned that a pet can be a child to someone and to sit here and see that pet that you concider your child sick and dying and knowing you cant do anythign becuase your a stupid broke ass student and cant take him to the vet becuase it will cost 900$ to get him better makes you feel terrible. and I've also learned that vets are stupid pricks and dont give a fuck if you dont have money then your animal/child DIES.

:( i've learned that i love my cat more that what i knew and all I want is for him to feel better...

[Chriss]

I've learned that the feeling I get when I stand up too fast, loss of sight and feeling that I'm going to faint, is not usual for everyone. It's just common for smokers.

I've also learned that quitting smoking was surprisingly easy.

Agreed about the fainting. And good job on quitting! I quit like 6 or 7 months ago and it was the best damn thing I've ever done!

[Chriss]

I've learned that a pet can be a child to someone and to sit here and see that pet that you concider your child sick and dying and knowing you cant do anythign becuase your a stupid broke ass student and cant take him to the vet becuase it will cost 900$ to get him better makes you feel terrible. and I've also learned that vets are stupid pricks and dont give a fuck if you dont have money then your animal/child DIES.

:( i've learned that i love my cat more that what i knew and all I want is for him to feel better...

Aww hon I'm so sorry to hear about this! :(

[Titty]

I've learned that a pet can be a child to someone and to sit here and see that pet that you concider your child sick and dying and knowing you cant do anythign becuase your a stupid broke ass student and cant take him to the vet becuase it will cost 900$ to get him better makes you feel terrible. and I've also learned that vets are stupid pricks and dont give a fuck if you dont have money then your animal/child DIES.

:( i've learned that i love my cat more that what i knew and all I want is for him to feel better...

As great as the bond between a pet and owner can be, it still cannot compare to that of a child and parent. You'll know what I mean when you have children yourself.

One of the most important things I've learned in life is that nothing is as precious and important as your children.

[Jenn]

As great as the bond between a pet and owner can be, it still cannot compare to that of a child and parent. You'll know what I mean when you have children yourself.

One of the most important things I've learned in life is that nothing is as precious and important than your children.

I agree.

[*Lins*]

As great as the bond between a pet and owner can be, it still cannot compare to that of a child and parent. You'll know what I mean when you have children yourself.

One of the most important things I've learned in life is that nothing is as precious and important than your children.

And I understand that. What I was saying was since I dont have children (misscariage so no child/fetus anymore), my cat is like a child to me. i'm sure if I had a kid I would be doing a hell of a lot more to save it's life well actually I would have medicare for the child so I wouldnt have to worry about money when it got sick. but for now.. since I don't have children my kitty is my baby.

[Celtic Crusher]

You could be extremely wealthy but still be very poor if you have no family.

[funeeman]

Everyone wants to be remembered after they are gone. Even if they say they don't.

Fat chicks need love'n too. Keep up the good work Prick.

A vasectomy can last two hours.

[Lisa]

As great as the bond between a pet and owner can be, it still cannot compare to that of a child and parent. You'll know what I mean when you have children yourself.

One of the most important things I've learned in life is that nothing is as precious and important as your children.

Hear hear. I couldn't have put it better myself.

[Jenn]

You could be extremely wealthy but still be very poor if you have no family.

So true. I would be lost without my family.