One paragraph product reviews

[Polar Bear]

In this thread, review a product in one paragraph or less.

Any product at all. Sing praises or rant about how badly something sucks.

Have at it.

I'll start:

LOKI (Videogame)

For the PC, this typical smash/slash dungeon crawler doesn't really invent, surprise, innovate, or even expand on dungeon crawlers as a whole. It's designers presumably weren't aiming for a game of the year with this app or anything. It's merely a no frills, run of the mill game that takes only the staples of dungeon crawlers, and leaves out the rest. In today's ever-increasingly competitive game market, it pays to specialize, or innovate wherever necessary in hopes that eventually you find that one niche that has never been previously filled and stake that property as your gold mine. However, it's refreshing to see a reasonably new game come out that doesn't try to do anything more than offer solid entertainment at an affordable cost. And LOKI does just that. It's not exactly noteworthy in any particular regard, but it has very few flaws in it's relatively simple design. 7 out of 10.

[Silly Cunt]

Carlton Cold Fusion (Lime infused Beer)

Any alcoholic beverage is a candidate for popular review, based solely on the fact it contains alcohol, however, the very notion of chemically infusing a natural product (lime), into one of the best thing ever invented (booze), is simply catering for the morbidly lazy, or the person who sucks the piss straight from the bladder of a deceased lamb. If you want lime in your beer (faggot), cut one up, and put in a wedge. Carlton Cold Fusion - Best served never.

1 out of 10*


* The one (1) is for its alcoholic content.

[Polar Bear]

My Girlfriend's Boobs

Like pillows with personality, they offer support and relaxation while at the same time; excitement and counceling. Whenever I'm upset, just a picture of them is often enough to put my life into perspective and remind me that I'm one lucky son of a bitch. Lefty is the sassy one....if it were a person, she'd be the wild biker chick wearing leather, holding a pair of handcuffs, and wearing thigh high boots, while righty is the more conservative one, like a cute, shy, sexy librarian chick that you just want to defile in every way imaginable and rob her of her innocence. Together they are an unstoppable super hero team that act to preserve justice, fight for freedom, and generally just fucking own. 9 out of 10.

(They are robbed of a perfect score of 10 out of 10 by their two super villain arch nemesis, the tank top and bra.)

[JackBlack]

My Girlfriend's Boobs

Like pillows with personality, they offer support and relaxation while at the same time; excitement and counceling. Whenever I'm upset, just a picture of them is often enough to put my life into perspective and remind me that I'm one lucky son of a bitch. Lefty is the sassy one....if it were a person, she'd be the wild biker chick wearing leather, holding a pair of handcuffs, and wearing thigh high boots, while righty is the more conservative one, like a cute, shy, sexy librarian chick that you just want to defile in every way imaginable and rob her of her innocence. Together they are an unstoppable super hero team that act to preserve justice, fight for freedom, and generally just fucking own. 9 out of 10.

(They are robbed of a perfect score of 10 out of 10 by their two super villain arch nemesis, the tank top and bra.)

Yes I know of them well.:yociexp77: