Sentiment

[Mamba]

I have a confession to make.

I keep old love letters, old emails, old photos and cards from years ago from friends, people I was madly in love with, or didn't ever really know that well.

Why?

I don't know.

Sometimes I think it's because I am addicted to reliving my memories, so I can be transported back to a place when those feelings were alive, and re-feel everything again, other times I think I'm just a hoarder (I keep receipts and bank statements too)

However - what I've come to learn from this exercise, is it is bad! Reliving old memories often means that those same feelings come back to you, and you wonder how it all went so wrong. The truly worst part of it, is while you go back in time and those long-forgotten about feelings all come back to the surface - that person who you are suddenly deciding to think about and focus all of that "what-became-of-us" energy, has long since moved on.

I think it's sad when you lose touch with friends, and I do it all the time. Of course, there's millions of reasons why it happens, work priorities, family, life, death... but it´s still sad to me when it happens. Which I suppose is a reason I keep these things, so I can still feel like these friends or the feelings associated with them are a part of my life.

I have often read an email from someone I lost touch with years ago, and sent them it and said something like: hey remember this? How are you?! ... and found that they are a completely different person, with different priorities, other hopes and dreams aside from the ones you used to talk about together. Of course, it's an entirely selfish thing, expecting people to stay the same as when you left them, but it's also an interesting exercise for me to see how much I have changed over the years -and how whatever I used to talk or complain about -which seemed like the end of the world at the time - just doesn't matter anymore.

I still think sentiment is a double-edged sword, as I know it's a useful exercise, especially when I read my old poems or journal entries- I know that I wrote them for a reason and they crystallise an important part of my life -perhaps it was painful, depressing or crazy - or maybe it was exhilarating or wildly romantic - whatever it was, it's still my life.

And I don't want to forget about it all.

[KommieKat]

Your problem is you're living in the past.
What does this mean? It means that you've got a big goddamn suitcase that you carry around with you and you bring those "memories" into your present relationships.

It means that you can't let go of the past. It means that you cannot stay focused in the present nor plan for the future.

You need help.

[Mamba]

Your problem is you're living in the past.
What does this mean? It means that you've got a big goddamn suitcase that you carry around with you and you bring those "memories" into your present relationships.

It means that you can't let go of the past. It means that you cannot stay focused in the present nor plan for the future.

You need help.

Haha. Well, thanks for the reply. Maybe you're right...I'm sure you never saved anything that meant anything to you at any point in your life?

It's funny because I threw out absolutely everything from one ex, but from the other ex, I kept it all. I know people who still have old pictures of their ex girlfriends and boyfriends and letters in a box in their wardrobe. I have emails from friends who I lost touch with. Perhaps others just don't admit that they keep any of this stuff though?

It's not like I go through it every day - maybe I should make that clear?

[Dirty Hippie]

I don't think you're crazy. I still have pretty much every letter and card that was given to me by exes as well. It's been over 10 years since I've read most of them, but I can't seem to just toss them either. Unlike phone conversations or real life interactions which rely on pure memory (which unfortunately can fade or distort with time) these cards and letters are tangible items which were meant to be kept since they preserve those memories so much better.

[Mamba]

I don't think you're crazy. I still have pretty much every letter and card that was given to me by exes as well. It's been over 10 years since I've read most of them, but I can't seem to just toss them either. Unlike phone conversations or real life interactions which rely on pure memory (which unfortunately can fade or distort with time) these cards and letters are tangible items which were meant to be kept since they preserve those memories so much better.

Thanks!

I guess when you put it out there, it sounds weird - at least it does to me - re-reading this. I have got rid of a lot of stuff, but some things I just find impossible to part with. I only really go through it if I'm feeling melancholy, you know? Probably the worst time to do it! I got rid of a lot of it today from one person because I should be "over" some of this. I guess it takes some people longer to move on from memories?

[Firestorm]

You're not crazy Mamba. I've got a couple of boxes of things, old love letters, cards from friends that are no longer living, pictures and momentos of various deployments, etc. Memories are not permanent. We forget a lot of what we experience and for me, having these items allows me to remember, kind of like a trigger for a specific time or place.

[Mamba]

Well! I feel a lot better now two members of the forum think I'm not actually crazy.

:)

[Zeabot]

two members of the forum
But the majority of us still think you're f'in crazy. Hurray for the small victories? :yociexpress01:

[Mamba]

But the majority of us still think you're f'in crazy. Hurray for the small victories? :yociexpress01:

Hey, what's a little crazy? Normal is overrated.

[Negativecool]

Well! I feel a lot better now two members of the forum think I'm not actually crazy.

:)
I'll agree with those two members. You're not crazy, just sentimental. (Eh? See what I did there? Yea, you love it.) What you describe seems to be nothing more than nostalgic reminiscing which is a reflection of a natural part of the human condition that everyone can testify to to some degree. Obviously, some are more sentimental than others. I would say it becomes pathological/indicative of "craziness" when these reflections become constant and are due to an inability to let-go/need to live in the past which, in turn, negatively affects your present decision making, relationships, potential, and overall quality of life.

[KommieKat]

^^^

I get the feeling that you would say just about anything to get the chance to suck on them droopy tits.

Dude, stop degrading yourself. It's embarrassing.

[Mamba]

I'll agree with those two members. You're not crazy, just sentimental. (Eh? See what I did there? Yea, you love it.) What you describe seems to be nothing more than nostalgic reminiscing which is a reflection of a natural part of the human condition that everyone can testify to to some degree. Obviously, some are more sentimental than others. I would say it becomes pathological/indicative of "craziness" when these reflections become constant and are due to an inability to let-go/need to live in the past which, in turn, negatively affects your present decision making, relationships, potential, and overall quality of life.

I'm going to give you kudos for that, as I think it's 100% true. I think the only time you have to worry is when you are constantly reminiscing about stuff to a point where you can't get through the day without thinking about the past or looking at old pictures, as that puts paid to any healthy relationship you could hope to have! Then, what would be the point?!


^^^

I get the feeling that you would say just about anything to get the chance to suck on them droopy tits.

Dude, stop degrading yourself. It's embarrassing.

Jeez, what is your obsession with my breasts? Yes, they are real, maybe it's been a while since you've seen that kind if your sig is anything to go by?

[CrAnIuM]

what is your obsession with my breasts?

Oh my ....

[KommieKat]

Jeez, what is your obsession with my breasts?

Don't flatter yourself.

There's a "Mildly Erotic" zone that you and your buddy can post your antics.

[Mamba]

There's a "Mildly Erotic" zone that you and your buddy can post your antics.

For starters, YOU are the one who made this thread sexual, not me.

I am getting bored with your shit.

Please refrain from making further unrelated comments in my thread.

(There we go)

[CrAnIuM]

I am getting bored with your shit.

The green zone threads belong to the author.

YOU could ask him to make no further comment, and he would be encouraged to abide.

K .. bye!

[KommieKat]

The green zone threads belong to the author.

YOU could ask him to make no further comment, and he would be encouraged to abide.

She has already done so and you're 26 minutes late.

It's understood. Move on.