Silly Limericks I Learned In Grade School

[proper stranger]

First and foremost..
I started a thread very much like this one over at Fy.com...so if it has migrated over here at some point...well I couldn't find it.
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Here is one I remember:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who's dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it....

[Deadly_Toxin]

Yum, yum, bubblegum
Stick it up a teachers bum
When it's brown, pull it down
Yum, yum, bubblegum.

[CrAnIuM]

^^ LoL .


ew.

[KommieKat]

Beans beans the magical fruit

the more you eat the more you toot

the more you toot the better you feel

so eat them beans at every meal.

[KommieKat]

Birdy birdy in the sky

why you turdy in my eye

well that's OK, that's alright

I'm just glad that cows don't fly.

[proper stranger]

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

[CrAnIuM]

Silly "Limericks" I Learned In Grade School



I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic for which it stands:
one Nation under God, indivisible,
With Liberty and Justice for all.


I say it is silly because of fucknut Eisenhower had to go and add the BS god phrase to it. It started in the 1890s ... and the bs nation UNDER god crap was thankfully and rightfully absent.

[Deadly_Toxin]

Ms. Mary had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Ms. Mary went to heaven
The steamboat went to

Hell-o operator
Give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I'll kick you in

Behind the yellow curtain
There sat a piece of glass
Ms. Mary sat upon it
And cut her big fat

Ask me no more questions
Tell me no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Doing up their

Flies are in the city
Bees are in the park
Ms. Mary and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the

D-A-R-K
Dark

Dark is in the movies
The movies is a show
And that is all I know.

[Josie]

Ms. Mary had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Ms. Mary went to heaven
The steamboat went to

Yes!! I used to rattle this one off all the time. Much to my mother's dismay.

[BeeJay]

humpty dumpty sat on a wall.
humpty dumpty had a great fall.
all the kings horses and all the kings men
couldn't put humpty together again.


Sorry it's the only one i know.

[Grim_Legion]

Mary had a little lamb
who wouldn't stop its bleating
so she took it to the river
and kicked its fucking teeth in

[Grim_Legion]

little miss muffet sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey
when down came a spider
and climbed up in side her

[Grim_Legion]

jack be nimble
jack be quick
jack squatted
and rode the candle stick

[Grim_Legion]

old mother huboard
went to the cupboard
to fetch her dog a bone
but when she bent over
the cupboard was bare
and the dog had a bone of his own

[proper stranger]

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If it wasn't for pussy
Our peckers would rust