Friends

[NiBBler]

I am seriously reconsidering who and who is not a true friend in real life. I shared a sacred and special part of me with someone in a conversation. I trusted them enough to share and then they belittled me and my lifestyle choices. I was made fun of in a horrible way.

My question to you guys is if a friend is a little different from the norm, would you ridicule them? If their preferences do not cause harm to anyone or to their lives.. would you not support them in their happiness?

I am truly hurt. Again. I will no longer be friends with this person, regardless of their apology.

[Wenis]

My question to you guys is if a friend is a little different from the norm, would you ridicule them? If their preferences do not cause harm to anyone or to their lives.. would you not support them in their happiness?

No! I wouldn't, but then again I am a lovely person; not everyone is as kind and accepting as I am...

I will happily rip 7 shades of shit out of a True Friend™ just to get on their nerves about a small thing, but would never criticise their big choices in life. People confide in me because I'm a pretty safe person on which to empty your brain. I gauge emotion pretty well... I know not to kick a man when he's down.



I am truly hurt. Again. I will no longer be friends with this person, regardless of their apology.

Well... think WHY did they say what they did? Their intention here is everything.
Was it to help you and encourage you to change for the better?
Or was it just to put you down, make you feel shitty, make themselves feel better?

Maybe you should elaborate on the kind of thing they said to you for more accurate advice from Prof. Wenis Ph.D. I can't believe I don't charge for this shit!

[Gzus]

Once someone does that me, they can get fucked. Even finding them in the street with cancer, aids, and run over by a truck, I'd probably point and laugh.
I dont forgive shit like that.
Ever.

Its only an open invitation to fuck you over again . . . and again. .. and again. <------personal experience.
Instead, I start planning my silent revenge. Then, once I made their lives a bit harder, I'd pretend to give a shit, they'd spill some beans on their weak points, supplying me with new, fresh ways of fucking them back.
The harder, the better. \
Im just a cunt like that.

[CrAnIuM]

My question to you guys .




Maybe you need to ask yourself why are you doing the disgusting weird ass shit that makes even your closest friends grab their kids and flee from your freakishness.


For example :

Friend A: Dude, I like to shit in my gloves and then put them on and play patty cake... please support me and love me cause I don't hurt anyone !!

Friend B: Haha .. eww, no, you are a goddamn freak and I 'll never be able to look at your hands again with out laughing. And this is so abmormal I'm prolly gonna tell everyone I see about it.
Maybe next time you will keep your Freudian psychosis to yourself .. or at least find a shit-glove support group on the interwebs.

But we can still be buds !




Bottom line:

If I ever have a friend ( maybe some day soon !! ) I don't think being 'supportive' <--- whatever that means.. of every little thing they do is a requirement.

And if this is the second .. or third or fiftieth time for you maybe you should take a hint and keep some aspects of you and your life private.

[SlimSkeeter]

Fuck yes, I'd insult the living fuck out of them. The degree of abnormality is a factor, I will admit. But then again, I generally hang with people who can take a joke and throw back a few one liners. AFTER that is done, then if it's something they feel the need to talk about...or if I feel the need, whatever the case may be, then we get down to serious discussion.

The insults serve to lighten the mood and uncork some stress.

Then again, maybe tying guys testicles to cars and driving juuuuuuuuuust faster than they can comfortably keep up is something best not shared.

[Jenn]

I love my good friends dearly, and would never put them down and insult them for their way of life, or certain decisions they made. However, I don't always have to support them. I am able to tell my friends when I don't think something they're doing is a good idea, and they won't feel like I am insulting them. Sometimes myself, or a friend may not see what we are doing is wrong, or a really bad idea-- at the time it would seem great, but I would love for my friend to stop me and say "Hey.. you're being retarded" or "That's not a good idea" and explain why.

But if said friend went to others and said "Jenn did this..omg, she's such a fucking idiot" yeah.. i'd drop them like a hot potato.

[Josie]

This thing you've kept to yourself is obviously a bit much if you don't go advertising it. Shocking things pull different reactions from different people. Maybe this person laughed at you and made fun because they were uncomfortable and weren't sure how to even process what you were saying.

Did you instantly speak up for yourself? Not as in being defensive, but simply for yourself. Or did you just go all hurt puppy revenginator?

No one is perfect, no friend is perfect. Perhaps just speaking up for yourself like "hey, douchebag. not cool." would cue so-and-so that you're not ready to poke fun at yourself.

I get the feeling you've festered this business into something more than it ever was.

But to answer your questions, it all depends on the situation.

I know. You should spill your baggage to US ! :D

[CrAnIuM]

I know. You should spill your baggage to US ! :D

This ^.

And in the red zone !

[Josie]

Once someone does that me, they can get fucked. Even finding them in the street with cancer, aids, and run over by a truck, I'd probably point and laugh.
I dont forgive shit like that.
Ever.

Its only an open invitation to fuck you over again . . . and again. .. and again. <------personal experience.
Instead, I start planning my silent revenge. Then, once I made their lives a bit harder, I'd pretend to give a shit, they'd spill some beans on their weak points, supplying me with new, fresh ways of fucking them back.
The harder, the better. \
Im just a cunt like that.

For the record.. you guys remember greyhoodies? hehe ^ this.

[Blood]

....You gotta quit taking yourself so seriously.

True friends will always give it to you straight, no matter how much it might offend you.
That's because good friendships are honest ones....

What's the point of keeping someone around if they're just going to tell you what you want to hear? That helps NOTHING.
If what they say hurts your feelings, let them know, but don't begrudge their honesty.

If anything, I'd be more concerned with the friends that NEVER hurt your feelings.
Everyone has a different perception of things, so there is no way in hell that you'll ever find someone that sees the world exactly like you do...if they're being honest with you anyway...

In short, you need to toughen up and start surrounding yourself with people that want to help you grow as a person...not people that are enabling your foolishness because they don't want to lose a friend. :baffled:

[Josie]

Yep, Blood's got it. As your friend, she can speak her mind. As her friend, so can you. True, long lasting friendships are the ones with many resolved or respected disagreements.

Good luck.. maybe writing some poetry about this hurt will help you forgive her and move on?

(please spill the beans?!)

[NiBBler]

Well... think WHY did they say what they did? Now that I have had time to process his reaction, I believe he acted out of ignorance and I do not mean that in a bad way. He simply does not know anything about what he is judging.

[CrAnIuM]

\ he acted out of ignorance \ \does not know anything about what he is judging.


Bah ... let US be the judge of that !!


What is it ?

[NiBBler]

Maybe you need to ask yourself why are you doing the disgusting weird ass shit that makes even your closest friends grab their kids and flee from your freakishness..

Who is to judge what is weird or freaky? For example: Sex with light on and Cranium on bottom = freaky ? or I dye my hair green and gauge my nose = freaky?


'supportive' <--- whatever that means.. of every little thing they do is a requirement. ..It's not and I guess supportive was a bad choice for words. I should have said accepting.



And if this is the second .. or third or fiftieth time for you maybe you should take a hint and keep some aspects of you and your life private.You are absolutely right.


I generally hang with people who can take a joke and throw back a few one liners.


Hurtful and degrading remarks are not funny and I will not pretend it was meant to be.



But if said friend went to others and said "Jenn did this..omg, she's such a fucking idiot" yeah.. i'd drop them like a hot potato.

Yeah.. it went kinda like that.


Did you instantly speak up for yourself? Not as in being defensive, but simply for yourself. Or did you just go all hurt puppy revenginator?..

I actually tried to explain .. but I couln't get a word in so I gave up.



I know. You should spill your baggage to US ! :D maybe later?



True friends will always give it to you straight, no matter how much it might offend you.
That's because good friendships are honest ones....
What's the point of keeping someone around if they're just going to tell you what you want to hear? That helps NOTHING.
If what they say hurts your feelings, let them know, but don't begrudge their honesty.

If anything, I'd be more concerned with the friends that NEVER hurt your feelings.
Everyone has a different perception of things, so there is no way in hell that you'll ever find someone that sees the world exactly like you do...if they're being honest with you anyway...

In short, you need to toughen up and start surrounding yourself with people that want to help you grow as a person...not people that are enabling your foolishness because they don't want to lose a friend. :baffled:

I did not ask for direction or advice from this person.. I shared a part of WHO I AM. It's not a good thing nor a bad thing.. it is just the way it is and will stay. Laughing at or making fun of someone's choices is not helping them grow or telling them the truth. It was cruel. You are right though, I need to toughen up.. but fuck when does that need ever end?

[NiBBler]

^^^^ the hell with the quote thingys.. you all get it right?

[NiBBler]

@Cranium.....I will tell you in person if you will come to Grumpy's Bday party .....

[CrAnIuM]

@Cranium.....I will tell you in person if you will come to Grumpy's Bday party .....


ummmmm.....

[SlimSkeeter]

Hurtful and degrading remarks are not funny and I will not pretend it was meant to be.


Nearly all humor is based on someone getting hurt in some way, whether through embarrassment, insults, or bodily harm merely depends on the degree. The exceptions are not really funny at all.

[Josie]

Just so you know, that's puppy revenginator..

hurt
try to explain
get shut down
shut down and stew


In the future, just don't take it. You've gotta step out of the conversation (in your head) for a second and then cut it all off with a big fat knife. "No. You WILL stop now. "

So and so doesn't stop? Fuckin walk out (or kick em out of your place if need be). You don't need to hear bullshit if you aren't being heard as well.

If they do stop. Make it clear that this is not a free flowing convo anymore. You are going to speak your side first and when you are finished, you will cue him to lay out his opinion. etc.

btw, a real friend will respect all this and roll, laughing with you later.

[KommieKat]

In the future, just don't take it.


In the future, simple ask them why the hell they did it and what was meant by it. Explain to them how you felt about it.
That way, you don't get yourself all stressed out about it for weeks and months with the wrong impression or assumptions made on your part.

-kommiekat has spokeneth

[Josie]

In the future, simple ask them why the hell they did it and what was meant by it. Explain to them how you felt about it.
That way, you don't get yourself all stressed out about it for weeks and months with the wrong impression or assumptions made on your part.

-kommiekat has spokeneth

emo: Why did you call me a freak?!
dude: because you're a freak
emo: *sob*

Yeah. Great idea.

[funeeman]

So. . you confessed your love for someone and they gave you the friend card. Got it.

[KommieKat]

Did you instantly speak up for yourself? Not as in being defensive, but simply for yourself. Or did you just go all hurt puppy revenginator?

Perhaps just speaking up for yourself like "hey, douchebag. not cool."
I get the feeling you've festered this business into something more than it ever was.

But to answer your questions, it all depends on the situation.




Just so you know, that's puppy revenginator..




In the future, just don't take it. You've gotta step out of the conversation (in your head) for a second and then cut it all off with a big fat knife. "No. You WILL stop now. "



Make it clear that this is not a free flowing convo anymore. You are going to speak your side first and when you are finished, you will cue him to lay out his opinion. etc.



emo: Why did you call me a freak?!
dude: because you're a freak
emo: *sob*

Yeah. Great idea.

No different than what has been underlined.

[Josie]

No different than what has been underlined.

Kommie suggested asking a question as a defensive.
Josie suggested stating boundaries as a directive.

:yociexp101:

[Freewilly]

I am seriously reconsidering who and who is not a true friend in real life. I shared a sacred and special part of me with someone in a conversation. I trusted them enough to share and then they belittled me and my lifestyle choices. I was made fun of in a horrible way.

My question to you guys is if a friend is a little different from the norm, would you ridicule them? If their preferences do not cause harm to anyone or to their lives.. would you not support them in their happiness?

I am truly hurt. Again. I will no longer be friends with this person, regardless of their apology.

yeah friends do not ridicule a mate with cruel intentions, I have mates that do weird stuff and I take the piss outta them but its all to them only no one else and in private, I would say this person is not in fact a true friend at all, your feelings and privacy werent considered, so fuck him off outta ya life. No matter how bad your secret was he owed you his trust.

[CrAnIuM]

. No matter how bad your secret was he owed you his trust.

Bullshit.

Friends are not friends when they involve you in things that are beyond the realm of normality or criminal acts and then have the audacity to assume that they "have your trust".

And since nibbler did not share what "it" is no reasonable person can claim that they would give blind trust to her and "it".

[Freewilly]

Bullshit.

Friends are not friends when they involve you in things that are beyond the realm of normality or criminal acts and then have the audacity to assume that they "have your trust".

And since nibbler did not share what "it" is no reasonable person can claim that they would give blind trust to her and "it".

I answered assuming it wasnt illegal and with the idea that the friend was offering trust in return for info, I doubt (maybe) that he would have just blurted the secret out to him without testing the waters first ?

[CrAnIuM]

I answered assuming it wasnt illegal and with the idea that the friend was offering trust in return for info, I doubt (maybe) that he would have just blurted the secret out to him without testing the waters first ?

You are of course allowed to form and express your own opinions.

[SlimSkeeter]

I answered assuming it wasnt illegal and with the idea that the friend was offering trust in return for info, I doubt (maybe) that he would have just blurted the secret out to him without testing the waters first ?

Haha, Willy thinks Nibbler is a dude!

[Freewilly]

Haha, Willy thinks Nibbler is a dude!

Lmao up yours xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[SlimSkeeter]

@Cranium.....I will tell you in person if you will come to Grumpy's Bday party .....


ummmmm.....

had to re-read this whole thing just for shits. You should be careful...shes just tryin to get into your pants again.

[CrAnIuM]

had to re-read this whole thing just for shits. You should be careful...shes just tryin to get into your pants again.

I know right?

[SlimSkeeter]

@Cranium.....I will tell you in person if you will come to Grumpy's Bday party .....


I know right?

probably wants to perform that unspeakable act that her friend made fun of her for. I'd pack my Acme Buttplate if you go to the party.

[CrAnIuM]

probably wants to perform that unspeakable act that her friend made fun of her for. I'd pack my Acme Buttplate if you go to the party.

I admit ...I'm curious at what it is she is speaking of.

But ....imma have to decline the invite....I'm not that curious.

[Josie]

probably wants to perform that unspeakable act that her friend made fun of her for. I'd pack my Acme Buttplate if you go to the party.

^ Guffawed!! HA ha!

[4nik8]

I answered assuming it wasnt illegal and with the idea that the friend was offering trust in return for info, I doubt (maybe) that he would have just blurted the secret out to him without testing the waters first ?

Takes a TRUE friend to get that kind of trust from.
Most fair weather varieties you're best to just keep things to niceties.